I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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