So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
