Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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