The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
