Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
