i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
