If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
