No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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