big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
