Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
