She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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