i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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