i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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