She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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