they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
