If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
