I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
