Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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