the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
