Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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