I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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