even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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