Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
