i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
