My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
