somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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