gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
PANTIES FOUND
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