Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
