At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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