I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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