I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
