... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize