so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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