imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
