If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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