Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
