We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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