That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I would fuck him just for his dog
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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