dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
