the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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