So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
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She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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