3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
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This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
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well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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