Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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