Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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