Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
