Can i not drive my cunt home
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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