i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize