my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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