so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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