she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
