you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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