there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
