How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
