Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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