At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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