I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
