Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
