I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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