i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Randomize
