I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
